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The Essence Of Cool
When it comes to success with women, there's absolutely NOTHING more important than being "cool". "THE MAN'S" defining characteristic is that he is COOL.
That's a fact. I don't care how sweet a girl is, no girl wants a guy who is not cool.
But what IS this thing called "COOL"?
For the purpose of this newsletter, I am going to focus on what it means to be cool here in Western culture. Before we even start here, remember this: "COOLNESS" is an IRONIC entity.
Because being cool means to convey HIGH INTRINSIC VALUE- yet at the SAME TIME, being cool ALSO means that you are giving off the vibe that you are NOT TRYING to be cool. If you need an aspirin now, I understand.
Let me explain:
When you are being cool, you are showing your Superior Intrinsic Value, (as opposed to external/artificial value like winning the lottery) by not even making an effort to prove your value, since you are so secure with it.
In other words, insecurity is the ANTI-cool.
Of course, since AVOIDING ANY MENTION of your value is, in fact, the way to SHOW it, it can seem pretty strange, but nonetheless, this is the LANGUAGE of COOL. If you want to be understood in this culture, you have to learn the secret language of COOL.
Ever notice how the guys who are good with women NEVER seem to be trying? That's because they really AREN'T trying to impress anyone! That doesn't mean they are trying to look INFERIOR.
They just don't do things that smack of approval-seeking.
For example, they defy convention in many ways, preferring to do things in a way that uniquely reflects who they are. This is shown in their clothing, in their language, in their taste in entertainment, etc.
COOLNESS is about FEELING COOL. So you do things your own way, you feel great about yourself, you never show off, and even though you are so relaxed and using so little energy, you've got pep.
When you're cool, and you are talking to women, you're not worried about what women THINK of you. You feel that they must be worthy of you just as much as they feel you must be worthy of them.
As a matter of fact, once you adopt this way of thinking, you will not be able to comprehend how you could possibly NOT chat with a woman out of fear.
There is nothing to fear:
A COOL PERSONALITY is what counts the most, (no, this is NOT a load of bull) all you have to do is just KEEP IT REAL- have a COOL CONVERSATION, not some desperate, approval seeking, boring, manipulative conversation.
Think about it, what if this woman shows you through her conversation that she's got a crazy personality?
You should not even WANT such a chick, and the way to find out is to first just have a conversation to see if she is psycho! Stop putting women on a pedestal!
Guys that are successful with women are able to just chill with them, or have fun, depending on the situation and what they feel like doing.
They are "smooth". No stilted conversation. No effort.
Ever hear the saying "No sweat"? Think about how being cool is related to not expending much effort.
This is where you get the myth that jerks succeed best with women, because they are so indifferent (or even cruel) and thus clearly not trying.
And jerks do yield SOME results with this approach. They are exhibiting at least one crucial component of being cool: Not trying so hard. And (in this culture) that conveys self-worth, since women interpret the lack of effort to imply that he must have value,- and that he is so secure with that knowledge he doesn't have to try hard to get women. As if women already know that he is valuable, that it's obvious.
But let me tell you something:
A jerk with a boring personality will not get NEARLY as far with women as a guy who both doesn't kiss up AND who ALSO has an EXCITING personality, a PLAYFUL personality, or any other DEEPLY INTERESTING personality. And you don't have to be a jerk to not KISS UP to a woman as if you were inferior.
So how do you convey massive intrinsic value without making it look like you are trying?
This is a TWO PART answer:
First of all, STEER CLEAR of ALL stereotypical things that people do to gain approval. It comes across as INSECURE and actually makes you
look INFERIOR. I don't care if you are the King of some empire, if you say it, it will still sound insecure. As if you lacked INTRINSIC worth, so you had to say you were King Jack Sh-t in order to have a chance to be accepted.
The bottom line is that people who are SECURE with themselves NEVER talk about how great they are. They instead ASSUME it is CLEAR that they ARE cool automatically, and so they can just skip all that crap. Guess what happens when people who have no insecurities get into conversation with each other?
The conversation feels COMFORTABLE. No one is showing off and everyone feels they are with worthwhile people.
But wait, it gets better:
We've mentioned that the first key to conveying coolness is to not try to show how great you are. Instead, to just focus on the conversation.
The SECOND key to conveying VALUE is more "active"- you convey VALUE through all the things you are INTRINSICALLY- MOST IMPORTANTLY…. a compelling PERSONALITY.
And THIS is the GREAT EQUALIZER. There are all kinds of inequalities in life, but personality does not have to be one of them. Do not take these words lightly: PERSONALITY COUNTS.
If you look at the guys in real life who are most successful with women, (I'm talking about successful in the sense that the women are NUTS about them, not just that the women are with them, i.e. for money) you will see that they are not only confident and therefore don't crawl for approval, but that they ALSO have COMPELLING PERSONALITIES.
When I say compelling personalities, I mean a personality that you just can't ignore, that you get caught up in. This can mean so many things- it can mean being original, playful, funny, exciting, mysterious, imaginative, romantic, courageous, wild, dangerous- or any combination of the above.
And if you think you have a lame personality, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
But to be honest with you, most guys have no problem with personality. Their only problem is that they will show personality with their buddies, but not with women!
For success with women, stop TRYING SO HARD.
And if you are reading this right now and would like to learn how to make "being cool" a NATURAL part of your life, in all your dealings with women, from first approach all the way to a relationship if you so desire, then I seriously recommend that you don't waste any time and download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women.
I spent a lot of time learning things the hard way in the real world before I wrote my book. The book was not something I ever planned to write.
It was the result of thousands of my own notes written to myself over a span of four years- this material was only shared at first with my best friends. The results that they got made me realize that I had something very powerful to share.
There's no "filler"- just the truth about what works and what doesn't. It took me a real long time to get to this point, but you can save time and get on the EXPRESS TRACK with these ideas and strategies- You can be reading them in just MINUTES from now!
It comes with my rock-solid guarantee:
Try it now for 30 days and if you are not completely satisfied within that time, just email me and I'll give you a refund. It's that simple.
Also, with the book comes FULL SUPPORT. If you have a question about any of the material that you read, I will answer it by email within 24 hours.
Download the book at:
And if you would like a personal one-on-one telephone or email consultation with myself, you can now arrange that by calling 416 630 9966 or emailing me at Michael@TheDatingWizard.com
Over the course of one million years, man has adapted and evolved powerful strategies for attracting women.
Now, you can learn them all in just a few hours of reading and practice.
Make the decision to become more successful with women NOW. You really can have success with women- the choice is now in your hands.
Till next time...
Michael WMichael W, better known as The Dating Wizard, shows how to attract any woman in any situation through his LIVE demonstrations in real life venues like clubs, cafes, and bookstores. These demonstrations are part of Michael's workshops and bootcamps where clients are taught exactly how to achieve the same results. He is a frequent guest on radio and television talk shows nationwide, and also offers additional private coaching services over the telephone. To find out more information about Michael's services as well as
his best selling eBook, "The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women", go to his website at www.TheDatingWizard.com
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